When you walk by, you walk by.
Following
a humorous section of “disruptive” conversation with a fellow blogger
of mine, I’ve been thinking about the ways in which males and females
attempt to woo one another. It appears there are many weird and
wonderful ways that singletons attempt to make people believe that they
want to spend the rest of their lives (or at least the rest of the
night) with themselves, cavorting in whatever way they seem fit.
This
blogger friend of mine has a very individualised way of attempting to
woo a lady (or, in more effective ways, a gentleman). It works on the
law of infinite probability, meaning that if you continue to use it
indefinitely, it is bound to work one day. I suppose this is true for
any given technique within context, and I love the thinking behind. It
his incredibly comic stunt/pulling technique he would use (if he were
brave enough I feel, or possibly excessively inebriated). I won’t tell
you what it is, for fear of embarrassing the poor soul, but you’d
probably love it if I did, or it would at least raise a humorous
chuckle.
Anyway, this conversation floated back to me later that evening, and raised a smile, and then got me thinking.
I
am one of the ilk that are very fond of one liners and cheesy pick up
lines used by willing men in pubs and bars across the nation. However, I
feel there aren’t many of my kind left anymore; Most of the girls I
know say that they would run a mile from any man who dared use this “old
school” technique. My sister simply stated that she would ask the
gentleman to buy her and her friend a drink, and walk away, which I
thought was a hideous concept, one that I would never employ.
See,
I adore one-liners, cheesy chat up lines, and downright insane pulling
techniques (like my blogging friends). If someone had the courage to use
those sorts of things, I’d give them the time of day the rightfully
deserve. I have a rule of thumb when it comes to this sort of exercise;
If a man can make me laugh (or indeed will dance with me if the
situation allows) he’s usually got a good headway. I will stay and talk
to him, and he’s definitely got a look in. I love it! I love someone
having that courage, and actually doing it.
But
there in lies the issue; the type of gentlemen I like (Nerdy boys who love music and also happen to be brave enough to approach me with cheesy one liners) don’t appear to exist, or if they do at all, they are in no way
shape or form interested in me at all, which is depressing to say the
least. I do so wish that men had the balls (ironically) to do that sort
of thing.
I
am, however, being a tad hypocritical. I do not possess or put to use,
any predominant way of chatting up boys, or seducing them in any such
way. It’s incredibly difficult, being me, to stand around in a room full
of people, including young men and women, and attempt to find someone
to take interest in. The main reason for this, is that compared to some
of the other females in the room usually, whom spend much of their time
plucking and pruning, straightening and getting their breasts out, with
which I cannot really compete. But also, a large proportion of this
competition, have some form of flirting ability. I have none; that sort
of ability comes with measurable outward confidence (or at least the
fake version of it!), and also good looks usually helps. See, the issue
is that I’m not one to bite my lip or bat my eyelashes when I see a guy I
like. I just sort of, use wishful thinking, to try and will him to
notice me. This is probably why I’m so in awe of men who can use they’re
humour and fun nature, to try and grab the attention and affections of
someone. It sort of amazes me really.
So,
just a little hint to all the men out there; even if you’re a bit shy,
and a little bit worried about trying to get a girls attention, just go
for, use a cheesy one, a really bad one, one that’ll make her laugh –
because in the end, she’s a complete stranger usually, so what have you
got to loose really? You never have to see her again if you don’t want
to, and if she doesn’t find it funny, or uses your bravery to score a
drink, she’s not worth it.
I’ll
leave you with my favourite chat up line, one that a friend and I found
in a book full of them, and we had great fun with. We had to edit it to
make sense to me.
“Do you have any Cornish in you? Would you like some?”
Or, even better,
“If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
Or apparently, my new personal favourite, a llama impression is always good :)
Thanks for reading
No comments:
Post a Comment